I'm Thankful for...

In honor of Thanksgiving... I'm going to make a post each day of something I am thankful for specific to that day for all of November.  And if it goes well, I might continue it through Christmas. :)

A Change in Desire... or Not?

In Sunday school today we were talking about desires and how you pray for your desires.  But then we were also talking about how if you have been praying for desires and they haven't been being fulfilled then you should pray to change your desires.

So... I thought about what I had been praying for quite a bit lately.

A boyfriend.

Lame huh?

I'm just a loser who has to pray for a boyfriend and still doesn't get one. :P

But in all honestly... lately I have been feeling desperate for a boyfriend.

Which isn't a good or pleasant feeling.

So in Sunday school I realized that maybe instead of praying for my desire to have a boyfriend to be fulfilled, that I should just change my prayers to not have that desire anymore!

At first it seemed like an answer to my problems!

And I was super excited to pray about it and not have these forever alone feelings overwhelming me.

Excited to feel normal again.

But I got this yucky feeling inside.

And even started to feel sick.

Which didn't make sense.

Was it just a coincidence?

Or was it the Spirit telling me that I can continue praying for a boyfriend and that I'll get one?

I'm thinking the former.

Because the latter doesn't sound all too plausible.

Why would the Holy Ghost prompt me to pray for a boyfriend when I'm technically not supposed to have a steady boyfriend until college?

It was just somewhat confusing.

But is doesn't seem like much of a coincidence, because as soon as my thought began to say "So, I should continue praying for a boyfriend?" the yucky sicky feeling stopped and I felt normal again.

I honestly don't know what this means.

But I guess I'll just continue praying as I was before.

And if an answer doesn't come soon, then I'll pray to change my desires.

Every time...

...I listen to President Uchtdorf speak I take notes.

But I always feel like I need to write down everything he says!

You determine your own happiness, so let yourself be happy! Life is not a race; it's a journey. Enjoy the moment. Happiness is available all the time, you just need to find it by looking not with your eyes but with your heart. Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. Resolve to be happy, regardless of your circumstances. :)

He is just too great.

I love him. :)

Oh How I Love Modern Day Revelation

General Conference.

I always enjoy it.

But this week I had been looking forward to it more than usual.

I assumed that meant I would be receiving answers.

But what answers?

I wasn't exactly sure I had questions...

So I started to think some up.

But the only one I got was, "Should I get my Patriarchal Blessing?"

Now, this has been a question for years with me...

But I've never really felt like I had received the answer yet.

So it's been my default question for forever.

...But the answer I received at General Conference was completely unexpected.

And it came in the first ten minutes of conference!

How nifty!

Well... the question that was answered for me was "Should I go on a mission?"

And the answer is, "DUH!"

I'll start at the beginning.

~~~

A year ago when both of my older siblings were on missions people would always ask me, "Are you going to serve a mission?"  And until the first time I got that question, I hadn't thought much of it!  So I just said "Well, if the time comes, and I'm 21, unmarried, and it feels right, then yes!"  But honestly I did want to go on one... but I moreso just wanted to get married.  The whole wedding, husband, children thing just appeals to me I guess!  So my honest thought was, "No.  I'm not going on one."  But I did leave the option just in case I wasn't married (although I would feel like a loser).

My options broadened when family visited Nauvoo... and there were missionaries there.  But they were 4-month performing missionaries.  You had to audition as well as apply to be one of those missionaries over the summer, and girls could go at 19.  So I told myself that if I was picked, then that would be just the mission for me.  And then if I still wasn't married at 21, I would serve a full-time mission as well (and still feel like an unmarried loser).

Just a couple weeks ago at my semi-annual Bishop's interview the Bishop asked me if I was going to serve a mission.  So I told him about my Nauvoo and then marriage/notmarriageandanothermission plan.  And he seemed to think that was nice, but also seemed to encourage me to more consider a full-time mission at age 21... so I have been.  But 21 has always just seemed so far away, so I figured I'd cross that bridge when I got there.

But since this was 4 years away, I didn't really consider it as a question as I went in to conference weekend. Little did I know it would be the question answered!

President Monson stands up at conference and announces that young women can now serve missions at age 19.  SAY WHAT?!??!?  Well, my question is answered.  I'm serving a mission.  The likelihood of me being married by then is very slim.  Plus, when I come back I"ll be 20.  So there is still the option of me being married before 21!  But 19 is also less than a year and a half away... which gives me not a whole lot of preparation time!  So I'm starting now to become as mission-prepared as I possibly can.  Starting with more blogging and journal writing.  Hopefully.

But along with this announcement was the announcement that young men can leave at age 18!  EVEN CRAZIER!  I have so many friends who could potentially be on their missions right now.  And now I have quite a few who are putting in their papers as soon as possible.  And even before this announcement I have recently been thinking about how in two years most of my guy friends will be out on missions... but now I need to consider that in one year almost all of them will be out on missions, and in two years I will probably be out on a mission.  It's all coming at me so fast now.  It feels almost as if the entire universe has shifted and I'm living in an alternate world or something.

~~~

Why is the Lord so good?

And why is serving him so great?