Waiting For Me -Julie Yardley

Here I am again

Seems like I’m standing still

Knowing that it’s finally time to start

There have been some things

Keeping me from moving forward

I can feel them holding back my heart

So I will face my fears.

I’ll give up my pride

The choice is mine,

That’s how it needs to be

Trusting in your love

I feel a change inside

And I can see,

You were just waiting for me

You've helped me believe

That I can move this mountain

That I can reach the other side

This is what I want,

And the road it won’t be easy

But with you there I know it’s worth the price

So I’ll face my fears

I’ll give up my pride

The choice is mine,

That’s how it needs to be

Trusting in your love

I feel a change inside

And I can see,

You were just waiting for me

You never gave up

You've always been there

Patiently waiting for me

So I’ll face my fears

I’ll give up my pride

The choice is mine,

That’s how it needs to be

Trusting in your love

I feel a change inside

And I can see,

You were just waiting for me

Come Thou Fount

I apologize for the not so great song I posted earlier.  Maybe this beautiful song by Allred will heal your ears.

Courageously- Jenny Phillips

I apologize about the horrible sound quality of the recording.
And the strange sound quality of my out-of-tune guitar.
And the annoying sound quality of my voice.

I only have a laptop to record with.
And I was too lazy to tune my guitar.
And I have been sick.

But I was really in the mood to sing.
And I wanted a purpose.
So you are stuck with this bad version of an incredible song.
Please enjoy!

I Need to be More Consistent.

In prayer, journaling, blogging, and scripture study.

I've been doing okay with prayer... but I can definitely do better.
At EFY a speaker mentioned that kneeling at your bedside for prayer helps you focus more on the spiritual nature of your prayer.  I never really thought of it that way.  I've always just been too tired/lazy and have always just prayed in bed.  But I'm going to try my hardest to actually get out of bed and kneel for my prayers.

Ever since I started blogging, my journal has suffered.  I've thought "Why journal when blogging is so much easier?"  Well... it is best to keep more than one record.  That's why.  Plus, I can't guarantee that blogger/the internet/my blog won't randomly someday crash and everything won't be lost.  Chances aren't likely, but keeping a journal as well is always good just to be safe.

Blogging... lately I've just not been blogging as much.  It's not that I don't have time.  It's just that I haven't been motivated!  But that needs to change.  I was thinking just yesterday about how I need to try harder to blog, and then today in sacrament meeting the speaker was talking about being a missionary through the internet and technology.  And I thought "That's for me.  To blog more.  I just know it."

I really try to read my scriptures, but I just don't like to.  I think it's boring.  But I want to want to read.  Does that make sense?  I have the desire to want to read and study my scriptures.  And that is enough.  But I need to try harder, even when I don't want to.  Yesterday I made a scripture reading log.  My goal is to read at least 15 minutes a week.  That may seem extremely easy for some (even most) people... but for me it is a challenge to pick up my scriptures even once a week for personal scripture study.  So I'm hoping that this small goal will be enough to make scripture study a habit and cause me to begin to enjoy it more.

~~~

I know that as long as I have

the desire to do these things

and try my hardest to do them,

the Lord will help with the rest.

EFY

I have always loved EFY... this was my fourth year and fifth time.  I have always loved both the spiritual and social aspects of it, but mostly the spiritual.  Each time I have felt somewhat socially ignored.  I never really made many friends, met any boys, or felt wanted.  I would always feel like an outcast.  You would think one of four times would be different, but no.  But finally this year was different.  Fifth times a charm, right?  :D  Haha.  But seriously!  I felt loved!  Our company was a family.  And it helped strengthen my testimony. So much!

You see... when my mom first signed me up for EFY I was planning on going with my cousin Lizzie.  But then she ended up not being able to go, so my mom started thinking of someone else who I could go with.  But I just had a feeling that I should go alone.  So that's what I did.  But I was scared.  Because I went alone my first year, and it was the worst experience of all of the years.  I was scared that my room mate would be some stuck-up chick who stays up late every night talking to her 21 year old boyfriend on the phone.  It would be someone who only went to EFY because her mom made her.  It would be someone who has to completely alter their wardrobe for EFY, someone who can't even remember my name.  Someone like the girl who was my roomate the first year.

I didn't want that again.

So I prayed.

I've always sorta been one of those people who only prays when they need something, but I've been trying to change.  Especially since I wanted this so bad.  I wanted a good room mate who I could laugh with, and with whom I would keep in touch.

And I wanted a great company.  Full of spiritual people who love the gospel.  Friendly people who love each other and the Lord. Is that too much to want?  Just for what my end up being my last time at EFY?  Could I have it please?  I prayed and pleaded... I wanted this so bad.

And it was given.

The Lord does answer your prayers.

I was given an amazing room mate.  RayLyn Bryant.  But she almost didn't even come to EFY.  Her dad had been put in the hospital the day before she left, so she really wanted to stay with him.  But she felt like she should go to EFY.  And then when her dad was released from the hospital the first day of EFY he was in a car accident and put back in the hospital, so RayLyn considered going home.  But she still stayed.  I know that it was the spirit telling her to stay at EFY.  Because her being my room mate was an answer to my prayers.